Private: While I was out

I missed the Old Hag’s limerick contest while I was out last week, but you can read the results now (scroll down). My favorites are Choire Sicha’s contribution and Zulkey’s poem about Britney Spears:

There once was a girl named Britney
Whose talent amounted to shitney
She wiggled her hips
And kissed people’s lips
And eventually showed off her clitney

“Something to look forward to! Thanks!” said MGP here at the office when I shared the Zulkey poem with him.

Dan Kennedy wants you to review his novel at Amazon, but only if you start your review with one of these sentences:

I am usually/almost always captivated by sharks attacking swimmers at small seaside resort beaches, so imagine my surprise when…

I am drunk and not signed in with my own Amazon account, but have a few things to say about this book nonetheless…

A few years ago my mother shared a skin care secret with me…

How many times has a humor book’s publisher promised plenty of sex scenes in hopes of jump-starting sales only to never deliver on the steamy promises? The answer is a resounding ‘all to often’….

Many of you know I’m an avid reader and Amazon reviewer, but what you may not have known is that I’m also a diabetic…

You’ll receive a really small gift for your trouble.

If I Had a Girlfriend,” by Bruce McCulloch (Thanks to Pasha for mentioning McCulloch’s site.)

Dong Resin must have been using the ladies’ restrooms up and down the Jersey Turnpike. Either that or the self-flushing toilets in Florida are possessed by the same evil spirits.