What’s killing the book industry? I present, for your consideration, Exhibit A:

This post was written by guest blogger Andy Fine.

I can’t decide what pisses me off more: That someone actually published this piece of shit or that the guy claims to have a “loving house.”

Author’s advice: Being “whipped” isn’t so bad

(from the Chicago Sun Times)

As Joe Gumm puts it: Men, for the most part, are Neanderthals. We stink. We say dumb things. And we aren’t much in the way of communicating — especially when it comes to the opposite sex.

But Gumm is trying to help guys out with his new book — Romancing Mommy: 150 Ways to Enhance Your Marriage From Birth and Beyond (Champion Press Ltd., $14.95) — due in stores on Feb. 1.
. . . .
“People tell me I’m whipped, but I don’t care. I have a loving wife, a loving house and a loving family.”
. . . .

Captain Obvious apparently ghost wrote this puppy. More from the book, which hereafter shall be referred to as “that which cannot be mentioned”:

**Remember Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, her birthday and your anniversary
* Ask her what she wants in the bedroom
* Always wear your wedding ring
* Get along with her mother
* Put the seat down and flush
* Always be well groomed

* Use terms like fat, obese, chunky, lard
* Compare her with other women
* Cuss
* Use “ball and chain” or “old lady”

Gee whiz, Joe, thanks for the advice. I’d have never figured that out on my own — I’m too busy belching, scratching my ass, and drinking milk straight from the carton.

By the way, I realize the inherent hypocrisy in my railing against the snobby book illuminati just last night, then blasting a book for the “common man” today. What can I tell you — I’m complex. Also, that was last night. After a day spent in trial followed by a couple of Xanax and gin cocktails, I’m in a different place. And it isn’t what I’d call “a loving house.”

Comments are closed.