From The Skinhead Hamlet:

ACT I
SCENE III
Ophelia’s Bedroom.

[Enter OPHELIA and LAERTES.]

LAERTES: I’m fucking off now. Watch Hamlet doesn’t slip you one while I’m gone.

OPHELIA: I’ll be fucked if he does.

[Exeunt.]

(Thanks to Darice for the link.)

“Not Very Serious,” by Maximus Clarke, is up on really small talk.