There’s no snow in Brooklyn, at least not yet, but we in the Maud household are buried nonetheless.
If you celebrate Christmas, have a great one. If you don’t, enjoy the quiet. The blogging and email response forecast through the end of 2004 remains unpredictable. For now, here’s a personal, less-than-heartwarming holiday story of sorts that some of you may remember from last year. And, because I’m procrastinating, a few random things:
- The Guardian‘s holiday quiz tests your knowledge of seasonal first lines like this one: “It was Christmas Day and Danny the Car Wiper hit the street junksick and broke after seventy-two hours in the precinct jail.”
- Roth and Hollinghurst dominate Britain’s end-of-year best novel selections. Zoe Heller and Anita Brookner have given the nod to The Line of Beauty.
- The Ms. blog suggests What We Do Now and the Cupcake book selections for last-minute holiday shoppers, but is somewhat less enthused about the season’s answer to the “boyfriend arm pillow“: the “lap pillow for men,” complete with realistic skirt creases.
- The film version of The Polar Express, “the tale of a boy’s dreamlike train ride to the North Pole to meet Santa Claus,” is being marketed to the same Evangelicals who flocked to see The Passion of the Christ:
This Polar Express downloads page includes endorsements from pastors and links to church and parenting resources hosted by the Christian media outlet HomeWord. There are suggestions for faith-building activities and a family Bible-study guide that notes, for example, the Boy’s Christ-like struggle to get the Girl a train ticket. “The Boy risked it all to recover the ticket,” the guide observes. “Jesus gave His all to save us from the penalty of our sins.”
- In related news, the Landover Baptist folks have outdone themselves this year with a list of proscribed Christmas gifts, “Lucifer’s Toy Chest,” which includes:
Leap Start Learning Table – Marketed to Caucasian children and Colored adults, this so-called “Learning Table” spits out lies about math, science and other secular bunk Christ-haters teach in public schools. We suggest you just start your toddler out with an illustrated King James Bible and a spanking instead.
- What’s better than going home to visit family at the holidays? Returning to an email inbox filled with urgent requests from coworkers, jokes forwarded by friends, and solicitations from Viagra purveyors, mortgage brokers, and the ever-present “young sl*ts getting creamy facials.”