Keepin it Real

One of our local alt-weeklies did an astonishing piece about John Walker Lindh, the American Taliban.

The author tracked down all of Lindh’s Usenet posts from the mid ’90s. In his posts to alt.rap, Lindh claimed to be black, and he excoriated hip hop artists who’d sold out to whitey. At alt.religion.Islam, Lindh posted under the name Mr. Mujahid the holy warrior, and debated which rappers who claimed to be Muslim actually lived up to the tenets of Islam. He was using his Mom’s email account.

But most amazingly, Lindh posted rhymes, including the epic “JOHN DOE’s Almighty Bicoastal Armegaddon Starchild Flow, With Extra Sprinkles On Top & Sides”. Here’s an excerpt:

Word to brother Malcolm

Dre shirts and hat’s when will we see his cereal?

Words of ignorance screaming claiming he’s imperial

Those wack metaphors aint even demo tape material

When NWA broke up I rejoiced

It must be all the Ide’s 6-packs sacks and joints

Cause in all his years of rhyming I’ve still never heard a point

All he know’s how to do is act the fool and exploit

Black people, he’s see-through

Glorifying evil, filthly like swine’s fecal

Matter my rhymes make ego’s splatter

Bladders burst when I wreck shop like Patty Hearst

Atomic Dog can only be sampled so many times

He does it no justice with those Grade Z petty rhymes

You got your money on like Ray Love now go the fuck away

He “got no love for girls” but I wont blast him cause he’s gay

I bust up his ego strictly due to his display

And his association with the white owned label called Death Row

Make a buck and making 10 for Bubba Jimmy Jethrow

Exploitation that’s been spread from the plantation

To the so called “black radio stations” test my patients

Spreading stereotypes to give a chuckle to caucasians

So many follow that path it’s just amazing

That you see their thuggish Bone asses on a Panther soundtrack

Bippity zibbety shit’s fast but their beats and voices sound wack

Kids got the nuts that a Mounds packs; none

Talking like they’re gangsters but they don’t pack guns

Glorifying gangbanging; making it look fun

Once again giving the white man a chuckle

When they learn to stop the suckle under pressure they’ll just buckle

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