I Shall Call It the Uhotchik

This post was written by guest blogger Wendy McClure.

Not too long ago I wrote about my new (um, still theoretical) invention, the Book-touring Femmebot, which combines the Unotchit, Margaret Atwood’s robotic book-signing innovation, with the latest in artificial hottie technology to tap into the under-served market of male literary groupies. Progress on the prototype has been slow as we’re searching for a silicone polymer skin that can resist ink, coffee, and cheap merlot stains, but be assured that development continues. Some of the features:

  • Attractive decolletage holds promotional postcards in handy pop-up dispenser.
  • State-of-the-art audio components deliver surround sound from oh-so-fine rear compartment.
  • Unique sensor detects awkward pauses during Q&A sessions; after 12.5 seconds Femmebot will automatically break into breathy, cabaret-style singing.
  • Powerful retractable arm capable of smacking bookstore patrons who ask, “So is it hard writing male characters?” or “Actually, I have no idea what your book is about — I just wanted to ask you who your agent is.”
  • Now if only I can get it to carry heavy stuff and drive me places, I’ll be set.

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