“I only wish my fury would compel me/ To cut away your flesh and eat it raw”

To capitalize on the release of Troy, Microsoft has compressed ancient epic poem The Iliad (on which Troy is based) into 24 words of “messenger speak” peppered with emoticons. Here’s the text, minus smileys:

“Agamemnon hd a dream: Troy not defended. Ordered attack! But Trojans knew they were coming n were prepared. Achilles sat sulking in his tent.”

(Via Sarah Weinman, short story reviewer.)